[fatbear]

I also laughed out loud at the post from Speedbird – brilliant !

[BAfanatic]

Great thread, really made me laugh. Best so far – “please change my baby’s nappy”, and tea from the crew call button. (Wish I could beat those, but I can’t).

I saw a very unfunny one of two pax in business class bitterly complaining to a flight attendant about the choice of movies – as though they could do anything about it. It wasn’t funny because they went on and on for much too long. I felt so sorry for the crew, who just stood there saying “Well I’m sorry sir…”. If that’d been me, I would have been tempted to ‘accidentally’ spill soup all over them at 4 AM (just kidding).

However after decades of travel absolutely nothing would surprise me any more. And I’ve seen plenty of people behave badly.

[TiredOldHack]

I was a little bit wary about making an unusual request on my flight back from EZE recently.

Only my god-daughter had had her birthday while I was away, and I needed to provide a decent present. So I tentatively asked the cabin crew what they’d recommend for an eighteen-year old girl with some money, splendid taste (I am happy to say) stunning looks and the ability to give her mother a really worrisome time. Because the days when I bought nice presents for females of such an age are, sadly, long gone.

Cue, after dinner, a sit-down with the duty-free catalogue and once we had ascertained that there wasn’t really an upper budget for such an important purchase, an enlightening pillage of the pages produced a box of some scents whose name I forget, and a Longchamp bag.

Job done. Thanks, ladies.

[RichardBarr]

Sometimes it really is just a case of “Lost in translation”, even when it’s all english. I was flying business class on Cathay Pacific from Europe to HKG and in the galley chatting with 2 flight attendants when a 3rd pops her head in asking what Jasmine Tea was as one of the passengers had just requested it. The others scratched thier heads and shrugged. I replied Chinese Tea as I knew that Cathay’s “Chinese tea” was indeed Jasmine tea. A case of translation from english to english 😉

[peterraven]

I remember on a night flight to London from Singapore a few years ago departing on a Saturday night, a passenger next to me asked if the Sunday papers had been delivered yet…?

I guess he expected something like refuelling in the air…

[DontTurnRight]

1980 and on a BA flight from Dhahran to LHR. The guy next door to me asked for 6 Brewmasters, two gin and tonics and a couple of whiskys. He got the lot immediately and this was in economy. Ridiculous today – yes. On that particular flight not unusual.

[jamesay]

BA Club NYC to LHR – plane delayed at gate due to weather.
Angry yuppy man demanded female cabin crew change baby’s diaper! This situation escalated until Cpt came forward as purser and crew had run out of ways of pleasing this man. He even shouted, “how dare you presume this woman with me is my wife?”. He shut up once Cpt warned he would de-plane him. Idiot spent rest of flight complaining about “stupid Brits”. Poor woman with the baby was terrorised by this idiot.
Change diaper indeed!

[Chiantikid]

@DTR. You are absolutely right. I clearly remember doing full 747’s ex Dhahran before Xmas. The bar round took all night! First request was 6 whiskies and 6 beers. Got handed a £20 note ( when £20 was a lot of money) and told keep em coming and let me know when you need more money. They’d buy the duty free spirits on board to drink. On landing into LHR it looked like a heavy Friday night in Glasgow! I used to commute in those days and I’d meet up with a lot of the oil workers an hour later as we all waited in T1 for our domestic flights home. . They’d ‘insist’ I took off my epaulettes, tie and ID and proceed to buy me drinks in the bar ( and I don’t mean iced water!) for looking after them even though it was only 0630!! Different days.

@Peterraven. You’ve reminded me of my favourite silly request. I was on the end of the trolley ex Vienna early one morning years ago distributing the newspapers. One old chap requested the Times, but was upset it was yesterday’s and not today’s. ( it was 0700) . I explained that the newspapers were on this aircraft that came from LHR last night, overnighted in Vienna and that’s why they’re from yesterday. He didn’t believe me and asked to see the CSD. She was a wise old bird! She gave him the same story as me. So he said, what exactly do I have to do to get today’s newspaper on BA. That’s easy she replied. Fly tomorrow!! I nearly bust a gut!

[TiredOldHack]

Years ago, well, decades ago, when we lived in Libya, the route was served by British Caledonian.

I think the oil workers were on what was called a “Three on, three off” contract. Three months in the desert and then three weeks’ leave.

On the flights out of Tripoli they were necking the booze before the undercarriage had even retracted, and were paralytic by the time the seat belt lights had gone out (BAC1-11s were used on that route, I recall).

And then they passed the hat around for the cabin crew, chucking banknotes of half a dozen currencies in. You’d see the crew counting the loot when we landed.

I was told that this was the only BCal route on which the crew were allowed to keep the money, partly because it was impossible to stop the oil workers throwing the money around, and partly because they worked their socks off. I’d love to know that was true. Anyone from BCal here?

[Janbeegee]

Slightly off topic but BA fanatic’s post about the inflight movie resonated with me – on a charter flight (Miami Air International) last month Vancouver to Nome to join our (German) ship for a trip to the Russian Arctic. Headphones distributed, screens on, opening scene Hitler with Goering! It’s ‘Monuments Men’ in glorious technicolour. The 14 Brits aboard thought the choice hilarious, not so the 160 Germans? does no-one check?

[Chiantikid]

I remember BA showed the Jazz singer on the big screens as they were then for a week on the Jeddah before someone worked out it wasn’t the best choice of film for the route. Someone also once told me the same thing happened on the Jo’burg when Cry Freedom was shown to a total ‘white audience’ as it was at the time in the late 80’s. I can’t confirm this one but it wouldn’t surprise me one bit. You really couldn’t make it up!

[LadyLondon]

And it’s quite possible they did. Such things used to be achievable by calling the right number at T4.

[peterraven]

@Chiantikid
So pleased I brought back some memories for you – nice story!

[BAfanatic]

In reply to DontTurnRight and Chiantikid, I was also on those BA flights from Dhahran to LHR in 1980. The festivities, boozing and good natured passengers enroute to LHR were really something. But the return flights could be sadder. One sad event I witnessed – a British guy of about 50 ‘enjoyed’ himself too much and on final approach to Dhahran was out stone cold drunk full-length on the cabin floor with the cabin crew desperately trying to bring him round. Another, this time funny, certainly happened but I didn’t witness it – in those days we deplaned down stairs onto the tarmac. An Irish guy was reluctant to deplane and a group of Saudi customs officers, sensing something wrong, quickly gathered at the foot of the stairs. The guy came to the top of the stairs and a full bottle of [illegal] whisky fell out his pocket and bounced down the stairs, without breaking, and skidded across the tarmac. The customs officers luckily took it very well, with a sense of humour, and only confiscated the booze plus gave him a small fine.

[canucklad]

Had a wee chuckle at Speedbird’s tea tale, but peterravens “Have the Sunday papers been delivered yet” made me chortle loudly enough for my colleagues to give me one of those stares… : )

Janbeegee & Chiantikid…..Back in the mid 70’s Air Canada famously showed on their new 747 service from YYZ to YVR that years blockbuster…… “ Airport 75” . Not sure how you edit that for an airline audience!!

[Author]

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