travelling alone

Just got back from Hong Kong and the first time travelling alone and the flight out was scary to say the least was sitting in first on Cathay (which is completely overrated but that’s another story) and blokes kept to eying me up and kept walking pass every 5 minutes looking at me. One idiot even had the nerve to have a picture taken with me and 2 others left me numbers. Staff on the flight were very rude and gave me evil stairs all the way no smile… nothing. I got up and went and sat in economy which was almost empty and sat with an old couple for the last few hours. Didn’t sleep the whole flight and felt completely wrecked on the other side after landing.

One lunchtime I went out of the hotel to the nearest shopping centre and was getting stares from lots of men and women and with some men walking very close to me, so I went back to the hotel. Then even in the bar, pool, gym, lift and in the women’s toilet!!! I was getting the same treatment, whole trip made me feel so uncomfortable. So when I wasn’t working spent all my time in my suite and ate room service watching CNN, social networking with Facebook and BT forum doing some Pilates and taking long hot baths. Thankfully three days after I got there the boys from the office arrived and everything was fine from there on. as I felt more relaxed and safer.

Spoke to the girl in the hotel reception about my problem and she was lovely. She said she couldn’t see anything wrong with me, she even went out and got me a couple of emergency girly bits that night on her way home and dropped then off for me in the morning because I wasn’t prepared to pay the hotel prices or go out on my own. She even spoke to the manager general manager who called me and said he had told security and all staff to look out for me and told me to report any problems with guests and visitors. He even one night allowed me to use the gym all to myself and had personally escorted me there with two members of the security team, one of them stayed with me while I worked out then escorted me back. The manager even got me a complementary manicure to cheer me up!! 😉

The flight back was much better too. I didn’t get hassled and crew were great but unable to sleep because of being worried about other passengers 🙁 didn’t fancy watching any IFE so just listened to music and that’s when I though I would start writing about my experience of travelling alone and start this thread.

This was not the first trip to Hong Kong but the first alone, usually all my trips are with an executive of the company, so always have someone with me at all times. I never had this problem in Barcelona which I have done solo on a couple of times on one night stays. When I have been in New York I have been happy to work around on my own, if I am home in London o am the first to kick up a fuss and make a scene even on my own if I am not happy. My boy friend would take care of anything physical 😉

What responsibilities do employers have for there staff travelling alone? I am afraid to tell my boss about what happen because I don’t want him to think he cant let me travel alone and stop me from going places.

All this has now made me think how I would react if I was in a country and war broke out? I would turn into a nervous wreck and wouldn’t know what to do or go?

How do you complain about someone else on a plane or in a different country???

Any other girlies or guys had problems??

xx

Bullfrog, it is very clear to me what Becky is getting at and it is clearly a gender concern so, unless you are a female Bullfrog, it is hardly surprising that you’ve not faced similar problems.

Sadly, Becky, I think you are talking about something which is a quite common problem for women travelling alone and, maybe, you have just been lucky elsewhere. Some hotels have recognised the challenges faced by solo women business travellers (which are virtually never of their own making) and created women-only floors and club areas, as a means of taking the (male) hassle out of a time when most people want to relax or get on with their own lives.

I have not heard of airlines recognising this as an issue. I would have thought that speaking to the purser could be one way of handling things but, particularly in First, they may not wish to challenge the bores who were bothering you.

In terms of your employer, I would have thought that they do have a duty of care for you when you are away on business but I am not sure how they can manage they sort of things you are talking about. They certainly should look into finding places where you feel secure but, short of a private jet, I cannot think of any way to overcome the air travel aspect of this. Given that many posters to this Forum are regular travellers in F, maybe they can offer advice?

“To be given phone numbers by two men and have your photo taken with a third and then to be looked at by both men and women in a shopping centre and your hotel would suggest to me that you were giving out some signals that perhaps you did not intend to. Remember that non-verbal communication speaks far more loudly than verbal”.

Sorry, DXDiamond, this is an absurd statement and has the same logic as claiming that women are somehow the responsible party when they are raped. Normal communication (talking, smiling) is not a “come on” and women should not have to avoid such behaviour just because of problems that some male travellers appear to have.

I knew this topic would touch on the points outlined by CXDiamond & TominScotland.

I have extremely close relationships (personal & working) with attractive women who travel extensively on their own. They know how to dress, act and operate safely & comfortably & whilst they have ‘male issues’ with which to deal, they’ve never experienced that outlined by the author of this topic.

@TominScotland

I’ve had my fair share of women ‘trying to get friendly’ with what they may consider a ‘worthy male’ & I find it necessary to make sure I am aware of the signals they may be trying to ‘interpret’.

This works both ways between male & female / female & male & is something my female contacts are aware of when they travel.

I interpret from this ‘post’ (maybe wrongly) that BeckyBoop is new to travelling alone & should therefore seek advice from experienced travellers.

Becky, if you are not an executive how do you get to travel in first class? What job do you do?

I’ve never had first paid for me; even business is rare these days.

I think your Mum might be right Becky, are you tall as well?

OK Becky et al. Here’s the pirate being honest as a male traveller often (mostly) travelling alone who enjoys the company of people of both sexes for socialising. As a male traveller all sorts of temptations have passed my way over the years, paid and unpaid, but I have never once been unfaithful (not even in the Bill Clinton sense, though i do enjoy cigars) and have no wish to.

I’m a people watcher, so the first thing I do on boarding is to look at my fellow passengers in case there is someone on board i know. Then not that it matters, but I try and work out nationalities, those who may be in F for the first time and yes, if there are ladies on board I do “check” them out. But I never stare or make advances, though the way some women dress does perhaps warrant a look that lasts a second or two longer than appropriate. And there may be the odd swapped comment with a fellow passenger, but funnily, it’s usually the others ladies who comment first. Usually disapprovingly! I put it down to envy!

Boys will be boys, and we never really grow up do we though as we age our wisdom grows even if we still think we are 23 year old lotharios!

The best advice I can give Becky, is never give off signs of insecurity or fear. Ignore looks and stares. Can happen for any number of reasons, but be aware of your surroundings and if anyone is following you. Avoid lonely alleys, deserted corners of shopping centres, “rough” areas in a city which the hotel can advise you on. Actually no different to being at home.

If you feel very vulnerable then ask the hotel to arrange a car, or reputable taxi, and driver for the day. This can often cost less than you may imagine and I think is a subject covered elsewhere in the forum. Make sure you have the drivers mobile number as well as the direct line to the concierge at the hotel. A tip for his services will ensure he always remembers who you are!

A female friend of mine when given an unwanted phone number always gives them her number back and tells them to call after arrival. She laughs as she imagines their reaction when the local police station or mental institute answers!