[DavidGordon10]

I have been told many silly things over the years, but I was tickled by a recent scientific paper that shows that mosquitoes are repelled by the smell of chickens.

Now I am very prone to get bitten by mosquitoes. I like chickens. But how can I use a chicken for the purpose of avoiding bites? Do I have a bird cage with a chicken as part of my hand baggage? If I do, could airlines provide a hook to hang the cage? Do we use the chicken as an inflight alarm clock? Can I give a freshly laid egg to the flight attendant, saying “lightly poached please?

So: interesting information – but actually no use at all as travel advice. What is the silliest bit of advice that you know?

[FDOS_UK]

BA once told me (and millions of others) that ‘We’ll take more care of you’.

[NTarrant]

DavidGordon10 – you could wave a chicken in the air and stick a deckchair up your nose etc, etc and pretend your name is Keith!!

Most useless advice I can remember being given was whilst trying to board an Oman Air flight at Riyadh, they started all the economy passengers boarding and I said “excuse me business class” to the reply “oh yes sir, please wait it is to your advantage ” after asking repeatedly how it was to my advantage he just kept repeating it was to my advantage. So I along with other business class passengers had to wait at the gate, queue down the tunnel to board and then we were last on and a very rushed coffee and dates. Still trying to workout how this was to my advantage.

[Poshgirl58]

“Don’t go mad”

Response I got when asking my ex-employer how much I could spend on an overnight hotel. This was about eleven years ago when I first joined the company and couldn’t find a travel policy. That nugget (sorry, no pun intended with earlier reference to chickens) was given by the then Company Secretary.

[icenspice]

Set your watch to the local timezone before departure

[handbag]

As Crew, I don’t get much advice, but I do get daft questions. The most regular one, that always makes us laugh and is asked extremely often, “Do you fly back now?” For example, I have just flown from LHR to LAX. the flight time is 11.15, I have to check in 1.30 before the flight and it will be another 1.30 before the passengers are off in LAX and I get on the transport to the hotel, which may take another hour. So from airport to airport is approx 14hrs. What would make anyone think that it is even legal??????

[icenspice]

I am very sorry, handbag. I clicked the Report button by mistake. Hopefully the BT team will remove it.

And, just to add, I value your posts very much.

[Manyatta]

I was told recently in BA F that ‘the crew are here for you, not the other way round.’ After hearing this, I decided not to serve the food or explain to the crew the location of the emergency exits….

[MrMichael]

I am sure I have had some useless advice in the past but do not recall it right now. I do however remember some advice I gave as a young assistant purser on DFDS Seaways. The conversation between me a lowly two stripe purser and an English lady who at the time seemed pretty ancient but in reality was probably early or mid sixties went thus:-

Lady: “young man, I have water on the floor of my cabin, is that normal?”

Young MrM: “that depends madam, what’s your cabin number?”

Lady: :”2646″

MrM “oh well, 2646, that’s deck 2, below the waterline, bound to be a bit of water, how deep is it?”

Lady: “oh, not deep, less than 1/4 inch”

MrM “probably just from the cleaners mopping out”

Lady: “I see, well, should I be worried about it?”

MrM: “no not really, but if it gets any deeper sleep on the top bunk with your life jacket on”

[handbag]

Icenspice. No problem 🙂

[canucklad]

Like Mr Michael, I’ve been given so much advice over the years it’s hard to remember the best, worst and most useless……Fortunately, I was brought up around air travel, so common sense through experience prevails

Most useless advice ……
My know-it-all, mate’s wife has on occasion shared some gems …..almost immediately ignored but never challenged…

1) Couples travelling together should wear matching clothes, so the airline knows that want to sit next to each other
2) Extra perfume and aftershave should be applied because, the odour reduces at altitude

She’s come out with more, I just can’t remember at the moment

[LuganoPirate]

I guess the most useless advice I had was when someone told me to wait till the last few days to book a flight as that’s when the flights are cheapest! I ended up paying almost double for foolishly listening to him!

[Tom Otley]

[quote quote=757228]Like Mr Michael, I’ve been given so much advice over the years it’s hard to remember the best, worst and most useless……Fortunately, I was brought up around air travel, so common sense through experience prevails

Most useless advice ……
My know it all, mate’s wife has on occasion shared some gems …..almost immediately ignored but never challenged…

1) Couples travelling together should wear matching clothes, so the airline knows that want to sit next to each other
2) Extra perfume and aftershave should be applied because, the odour reduces at altitude

She’s come out with more, I just can’t remember at the moment

[/quote]

Please do – they are brilliant and I would like to commission a piece from her

[canucklad]

Morning Tom
Alas, one of the reasons why I choose to ignore and dismiss her jems (apart from the obvious) is her outright hostility towards me and my mates other friends.

Happy to share a few more of her dazziling tips though…..

Having a conversation about weight restrictions, her solution……..
“Just use 2 suitcases to ½ your weight and double your allowance at the same time”.

And

On LCC flights enhance the IFE systems (what systems) by blue tacking your device to the armrest, where you would normally find the ear jacks ! .

[PerthWA]

Last week from my 89 year old mother who criss crossed the world on things called ‘planes’ in the 40s/50s/60s/70s that took weeks to get from london to singapore stopping for an overnight here and there en route in salubrious cities such as Karachi, Ankara etc etc… Don’t go, the world isn’t safe…. yeah Ma, so you were?!

[Author]

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