[K1ngston]

As the original question was the most inane security question asked, I was travelling through Gatwick a year or so ago, and was in the Premier Line having checked in for my flight to Jamaica and was in a good mood (rare I know) and then all of a sudden there were a few alarms going off which I paid no heed to and then the question “Is this your phone sir?”

Well of course I answered yes to be told there were traces of explosives on the phone and I was told to leave the queue as the Police had been called!

Being in shock, as I know I dabble in many things but explosives are not one of them I was asked a lot of relevant questions I guess, a Police Officer came over and asked me some questions and then as part of the process the Security Officer in charge was called!

She was firm and efficient and took my phone and started to do the tests again, now at this stage all sorts of scenarios were playing out in my mind and was wondering how was I going to deal with this, and then she piped up, angrily to her colleague ” are you seriously saying this shows explosive content?” She looked at me and asked me whether my wife had used my phone recently and I said probably had picked it up, she said I am sorry sir it appears the machine has picked up acetate which frankly is the same as used in nail varnish remover and this should never have happened!!!

Well my relief was obviously apparent, and I was offered the opportunity to complain for the inconvenience which I declined saying that if this even had helped the operative to do his job better then it was worth it!

So when someone in Gatwick security asks you “who’s phone is this?” keep walking 🙂

[esselle]

I was asked to provide an 8 character password when opening an online bank account.

I tried Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, but it was not accepted.

[TiredOldHack]

MartynSinclair – I had this in New York last month. Went to buy a camera lens and both my cards (Avios earners) were blocked. So I called Lloyds (on the store’s phone, thank God, because sorting it all took an hour).

I won’t bore anyone with all the details, but my gripe was that the card had been swiped by the hotel and accepted, so why was it being turned down in a shop?

I was then told that I hadn’t notified Lloyds that I was going abroad. My answer to that was that I always used to, but a year or so ago they told me that their anti-fraud software was much improved now, so it wasn’t necessary any more.

“Oh, we’ve changed that. There’s a notice at the bottom of your credit card statement every month…”

“Look, when you tell me over the phone that it’s not necessary, I’m not going to scan all the small print at the bottom of my credit card statement just to see whether you’ve changed your mind.”

So they then wanted me to tell them my credit limit.

Answer: “I haven’t a clue. You bill me, and I always settle the account in full every month.”

Grrrrrr.

EDIT: Oh, and on a positive note, when I had my first bank account but was not trusted with a bank card, and you cashed cheques in branches to get cash, I was asked for ID in a different branch of Barclays.

I didn’t have a driving licence or anything, being a callow schoolboy, but the bank did accept the Cash’s name tag sewn into the back of my school jacket.

[PerthWA]

Dumbest questions which I’m continually asked is by Citibank who seem to enjoy calling me from Manila and proceed to ask me to identify myself with every scrap of information possible before they tell me what they are calling about!
ANZ by the way at least has the online system to alert the bank to travel plans which definitely circumvents the declines which I used to get frequently partcularly in Middle East and Asia.

[MartynSinclair]

Just an add on…. one of the banks who blocked my credit card, did not lift the blocker until I called a second time (due to an internal error). Just been advised that I have been awarded D & I of £75. I had requested only £20 to cover the cost of the calls….

[stevescoots]

A few months ago I stepped off a train in china and realised I had left my phone on the seat, as the only other passenger on the train was a westerner I rang my phone and got a Chinese voice, I asked her in my best pigeon Chinese to hold the line while I pass the phone to my assistant and the phone immediately rang off. For 30 minutes I tried calling but just kept getting a phone is busy message. Time to call EE to block the phone, the words are not as quote but fairly close
They asked for the account password. “I don’t have it as it’s is a business account so left with the accounts team”
Can I tell them the amount of last bill, “ no that’s accounts”
Can I tell the bank account number its paid from, “what part of I don’t deal with accounts do you not understand”
Sorry sir, I cannot authorise to block your phone unless you pass security, can you get the password. “Its 3am in the morning in the UK you moron, if I could wake my accounts up do you not think I would have done it??”
Please do not be abusive sir….
I then told them that this call is being made at xxx time, I will send an email to your customer services confirming this and that as of this time we will not be liable to any charges on this account particularly as it’s a UK phone that is roaming I Asia. Then as if by magic they confirm they cannot block the phone but can suspend it..whatever the difference is I still don’t know!

Anyway, it turns out the phone was not in use, just that the railway staff had turned it off as my constant ringing must have annoyed them. I got onto my Motorola account and hit the nuclear option, total wipe all data as soon as it was turned on and connected to internet. Unfortunately an hour after losing it I got a call from the local station to say it’s on its way back and can collect it in 30 mins, which I did…only to then have to watch it Format as soon as I turned it on, and then not being able to restore its back up, as access to the google back up is blocked in China!

[Author]

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