[Anonymous]

[LeTigre]

The privately-held company previously known as BAA, today announced its Q3 results and confirmed the continuation of the world’s most generous dividend scheme.

Now known as Heathrow Airport Ltd., the company announced an increase in pre-tax profits to £111m for the third quarter, compared to a similar sized loss in the same quarter of last year.

Asked how Heathrow Airport Ltd. had managed to improve its fortunes so substantially, José Leo, CFO, announced that the company had moved into a new business area: selling airports. “We’ll probably buy them back in the end, but in the meantime, it’s always useful to have a bit of ancillary revenue on the side, and the market for airports is surprisingly large. Soon, everyone will have one. We’ve got one in every size.”

Heathrow Airport Ltd., also announced that net debt for the quarter stood at £1.05tn, equivalent to 74% of GDP.

However, the company still plans to continue its use of what has been described as “the world’s most generous dividend scheme”, calculated based on £30m per airport per quarter, totalling £180m in Q3. Mr Leo says that this “maintains investor interest”, and “follows the successful model trialled by the world’s richest man”, whom he revealed was the president of “an Irish airline (though only based there for tax purposes)”.

The company admits more innovation is needed at Heathrow, and therefore confirmed several new schemes to improve ground access, including the long-awaited zebra crossings on the runways. These new developments would provide “unparalleled” hiking experiences, claimed Heathrow Airport Ltd.

[AnthonyDunn]

@ LeTigre – 29/10/2012 21:14 GMT

You’re not still fog bound by any chance?

[Author]

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