[Anonymous]

[LeTigre]

Air France has today taken delivery of its latest plane, a Boeing 777-300ER, that has helped it hit several milestones and will be the aircraft with new products onboard.

The factory-fresh jet is Air France’s 60th 777 and carries the registration F-OFF along with 468 passengers. The new aircraft will allow Air France to introduce its most “cost-effective” configuration yet, with “Affaires” passengers seated in a 3-3-3 layout, and economy or “Voyageur” in a 3-5-3 array.

Air France will also be launching the new premium economy product on this plane. The new class will be called “Alize” or “profit” in French. Passengers in this class will benefit from larger cushions and a glass of water, at the customer’s chosen temperature (lukewarm or tepid) before take-off.

In addition to several “enhancements” to its mileage scheme that were announced earlier this year, the airline will be introducing a new and efficient economy service. Head of HR, Ms. A. Mal explains that “economy passengers can benefit from longer periods of sleep as cabin crew will not be present at all except during emergencies”. Furthermore, passengers will be offered greater “flexibilité” when it comes to catering, as Air France will supply several microwaves in the galley and passengers will be offered an “extensive range” of Pot Noodles. The new service will ensure that crew are always available to operate the emergency doors when necessary.

When asked why Air France now has the most dense configuration of any 777 flying and has failed to select Boeing Sky Interiors like other airlines, Air France-KLM Head of Procurement explained that “this plane offers greater capacity to key leisure destinations where volume is more valuable than yield”. The airline plans to operate the new aircraft on routes including to the Caribbean and Indian Ocean, but the same spokesperson also stated it would also be operated “occasionally” to JFK, NRT and SIN, and other business destinations

[FormerlyDoS]

“F-OFF”

Named in honour of the mutual appreciation between Les Anglais and Les Francais? 😉

[FormerlyDoS]

“The factory-fresh jet is Air France’s 60th 777 and carries the registration F-OFF along with 468 passengers. The new aircraft will allow Air France to introduce its most “cost-effective” configuration yet, with “Affaires” passengers seated in a 3-3-3 layout, and economy or “Voyageur” in a 3-5-3 array. “

Having experienced 2-5-2 on a short hop in KSA, I do not believe that 3-5-3 (11 across) is physically feasible, with the modern ‘physique’.

3-4-3 (e.g. EK) is pretty tight.

[LeTigre]

I know…it was a joke.

The only people who could fit into that kind of space is really “petit” people, plus a few size 0 models.

[FormerlyDoS]

The sad reflection on modern paxing is that I picked up the registration joke, but the rest didnt stand out as ridiculous after a quick scan 🙁

No I see Mme A Mal et al ……

[LeTigre]

Mal is evil in French.

Didn’t you get the microwave in economy bit?

[LuganoPirate]

Ho Ho. Like it. I didn’t notice any of the double meanings till I read Dos’s comments.

I’m often amused by registrations that have double meanings. I tried to get PH-UCK for my Seneca twin but the Dutch RLD turned it down! They did allow KLM’s PH-BUM however on one of it’s 747’s.

I’ve also seen on a German registered plane the registration: D-EATH!!! Not so sure I’d want to fly on that aircraft.

[LPPSKrisflyer]

Very funny however given AF’s ability to pack people in, it’s quite near the mark. Don’t give them ideas. I can envisage a 3-3-3 Affaires cabin on their 777s.

[sparkyflier]

Credit to you Le Tigre, made my afternoon! Laughed out loud in my office, turning heads. But as Krisflyer said, try not to give them ideas!

[RichHI1]

Le Possion d’Avril qui est en retard, n’est ce pas?
I liked “that has helped it hit several milestones ” not to mention a couple of Regional Jets and the odd gateway…

[LeTigre]

I forgot how good you were at French, Rich. You are correct in your assumption, I wasn’t around during April Fools.

Any suggestions for my next one?

Here’s some of my developing ideas:

Virgin Atlantic to Introduce New Cosmetics Range
BAA Inks Deal with Westfield
New T2 to Feature Largest Ever Kurt Geiger
Qantas A380 Faults Found to be Cathay Sabotage
All American Airlines to Merge
Nigeria Introduces Foreign Carrier Tax
French Airbus Suggests All Faults Due to British-Made Products

Please post if you would like any of those ones.

[RichHI1]

BA say proposed move to T2 will lessen use of buses?

[LeTigre]

An excellent idea.

[paulkaz]

Very funny LeTigre.
Qf’s Alan Joyce appointed CEO of Emirates retrospectively from 1 april 2009 with a significant performance bonus.
Richard Branson waives his recruitment commission for negotiating the appointment and donates it to the newly formed Royal Society For The Appreciation of British Airways.

[Author]

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