[IanFromHKG]

Thanks, Becky, you really are a treasure…

The problem with my wife doing it is the uncertainty of timing – you need to call to make an appointment with IPS, and you can’t get appointments more than two weeks in advance. It is hard enough already getting flights into the UK this summer (for my own trip in July I am having to go via Amsterdam – the direct flights are full or charging obscene amounts of money), so we just don’t have confidence we can arrange the interview at a time that works. And unfortunately it is difficult to call on my family (children, work or age/health).

The closure of the international passport offices makes life very difficult and to my mind will only inhibit business – I really can’t understand what the government was thinking (sigh)

[LuganoPirate]

And make sure you fill it all in with BLACK ink only!

I did it in blue and paid the price….

[LuganoPirate]

Just looking at this again, and we renewed our kids passports by going to the office in person in Victoria. We would have had them same day except for the fact I did them all in blue ink. So we got them the next morning instead.

Not sure how old your daughter is, or where she’s at school, but maybe she could go to the pp office or perhaps a friendly adult/teacher could go with her if too young?

Good excuse for a day out in London plus lunch at Daddy’s expense 😉

[LuganoPirate]

Sorry, quick PS. The Head teacher can certify the photos provided she’s been at the school long enough.

[Binman62]

Folks…..I am often the grumpiest complainer on here however I really think this is a non issue.

The UK passport office can issue renewals very quickly but in the summer months and specifically May June the process time is longer because the shell suit fraternity are all gettig ready to grace Ibiza and the likes with there oily burned skin presence…..and yes, I know I am a snob!!!

In the winter months it takes days and I normally get the kids passports replaced between Christmas and New Year and they are back inside 5 working days. My wife’s passport was done in 3 days last year in January!

I am not aware that renewals require ID to be confirmed via signature on the back of the photo especially for kids.

New passports take much longer and now require a visit to one of the regional offices.

It can be a pain with kids as they last only 5 years, costs almost the same and with some Asian countries requiring 6 months validity you do need to be on the ball. that said all 3 recent passport renewals were for 5 years and 6 month and 10 years and 6 months as the passport authorities will add the remaining validity of the old passport to the new one. A nice letter with the application will get this done and I even got a call as I also asked for the Arabic translation stamp, but this is no longer done.

Unless you want too there is really no need for expensive premium sevice or visits to London.

[IanFromHKG]

Thanks, LP – unfortunately a trip to London would be an entire day out of school for her

Binman, I am sure that works wonderfully if you are in the country – for those of us who live 6,000 miles away it becomes a little more difficult, especially as we simply aren’t in the UK during any of the holidays except the summer one

Sorry, this discussion is not a business travel issue per se, I know – but I foresee a time it is going to become problematic for me as well. Although I am not the most frequent traveller, I do go somewhere during most months and so will have to be very careful when it comes to renewal time. I can see that for many British expats who travel more frequently than I do it is going to be a significant logistical problem (and a costly one, let’s not forget). Thank god I am a permanent resident here so don’t get HK immigration stamps all the time – my passports only used to last 2 or 3 years in the bad old days! My wonderful APEC Business Travel Card helps to keep down the number of visas too – but why is it that so many immigration officers insist on putting a lone stamp on an empty page? Bloody infuriating, as so many Asian countries require a full blank page for each visa

[BigDog.]

Spoiler alert – Do not read if easily offended.

This apparently is an actual letter received by the UK Passport Office.

Dear Sirs,

I’m in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.

How is it that Sky Television has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a satellite dish from them back in 1977, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.

For Heavens sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on my pension book, and it is on all the income tax forms I’ve filed for the past 30 years. It is on my National Health card, my driving license, my car insurance, and on the last eight damn passports I’ve had and on all those stupid customs declaration forms I’ve had to fill out before being allowed off the plane over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms.

Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother’s name is Mary Anne, my father’s name is Robert and I’d be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!

I’m really pissed off this morning. Between you an’ me, I’ve had enough of this bullshit! You post the application to my house, THEN you ask me for my bloody address!!!!

What is going on?? Do you have a gang of Neanderthals workin’ there?

Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don’t want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for Goodness sakes.

I just want to go and park my arse on some sandy beach somewhere.

And would someone please tell me, why would you give a toss whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, you’d be the last people I’d want to tell!

Well, I have to go now, ’cause I have to go to the other end of the poxy city to get another copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of £30.

Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day?? Nooooooooooooo, that’d be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You’d rather have us running all over the soddin place like chickens with our heads cut off.

Then I have to find some idiot to confirm that it’s really me on the damn picture – you know, the one where we’re not allowed to smile?! (bureaucratic morons).

Hey, do you know why we couldn’t smile if we wanted to? Because we’re totally pissed off!

Signed
An Irate Citizen.

P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it’s me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776…… I have served in the military for over 30 years and have had full security clearances over 25 of those years enabling me to undertake highly secretive missions all over the world. However, I have to get someone ‘important’ to verify who I am – you know, someone like my doctor –

WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN PAKISTAN !!

[FlyingChinaman]

BigDog: Most entertaining read!

[LuganoPirate]

Ian, did you resolve your problem with your daughter’s passport?

[LuganoPirate]

Love it BigDog and how very true. Most countries use your old passport to verify who you are and I’ve never understood why the UK is so pedantic in these matters!

[VintageKrug]

Grand_Chien, as ever good to see you back.

Alas, the letter you posted is simply an Anglicised version of a spoof letter which it seems orginated in Canada.

It has nothing to do with the UK Passport Office, which continues to issue passports in a timely fashion, within its three-four week target, much to the annoyance of some, it seems, who would much rather be brewing a story of public sector incompetence.

I know because I just renewed mine and it arrived on Friday. Three weeks on the nose.

See also the Canadian version of this letter, which has been doing the round for years:

http://all-funny.info/actual-letter-to-the-canadian-passport-office

[capetonianm]

There are also Australian and South African versions which have done the rounds.

[IanFromHKG]

LP, thanks for asking! Yes, all sorted, by Senior Management taking her to the passport office in Peterborough where passports for both were issued same day (she decided to forfeit a couple of months on her own passport in order to get the renewal done at the same time). Fortunately, they managed to get an appointment at a time that worked!

On which note – I think the issue I would like to see fixed is the appointment system. As I pointed out before, you can’t make an appointment more than two weeks in advance, and it is entirely conceivable that you won’t get much choice when you finally do make the booking. Since I normally make my travel plans to the UK months in advance in order to take advantage of fare offers or in order to get upgrade seats so I don’t have much flexibility on dates, and since I am rarely in the UK for more than a week, that does mean I run a risk of being unable to get an appointment. If expats (or frequent travellers) were able to make appointments further in advance in order to tie in properly with their travel plans, it would make life a lot easier. But oh no….

[LuganoPirate]

Glad it got sorted Ian. If only these agencies would show some flexibility, but that would be too simple!

[LuganoPirate]

Yes, Mrs. LP and kids (they were all submitted at the same time) but I can’t recall exactly what was wrong with the background colour.

We then had to retake them in the photo machine in the passport office – the originals were “professionally” done at a shop specialising in pp photos on the Strand.

They did however accept the original certification on the first photos thank goodness.

I still wonder if they just want the income from their own photo machine?

[Author]

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