[Anonymous]

[BigDog.]

Amusing complaints made by tourists….

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/picturegalleries/5005019/20-ridiculous-complaints-made-by-holidaymakers.html

Odds on the majority were uttered by Americans 😉

[Charles-P]

We recently had our annual review with the business travel agent we use and they have many of these from their retail division. Some examples were:

“Plane’s engine was noisy, why do they need to be on when people are sleeping”

“We were two hours late getting to the airport but they didn’t hold the flight for us even though we telephoned”

“The food at the hotel was not like the food at home”

“How often is the Channel Tunnel tested for water leaks?”

“My husband did not feel safe with a woman pilot, can we get a refund?”

[MrMichael]

A couple I have overheard on my travels, perhaps not complaint all the same:-

American husband to wife on Norwegian domestic ferry as he rummaged in his wallet….”how many fjords to the dollar?”

English chap to purser on Fred Olsen line from Oslo to Harwich….”why are we in the North Sea when we are supposed to be going south?.”

Recently on a flight from LHR to MAD on IB the lady sat next to me (English) could not understand why the female cabin crew were not “clicking those castanet things” as they went up and down the aisle. She admitted it was her first trip abroad so I gave her a quick lesson on the difference between the penguin book of Spain and Spain.

[Globalti]

Tripadvisor is always good for this kind of thing. Have a look at some natural attractions, which people seem to treat as man-made tourist attractions:

“Too big for a big man. But cool to look at.

The views of Mount Nevis are stunning, really cool. It is a typical Scotch Mountain made of rock, scree, grass and some heather . There is a primitive track from the bottom, but not what you would call a real road. If you want to go right on up you would have to walk. I have metabolic issues and an XXL build (BMI = 44) so I made about half a mile or so then had to stop. There don’t appear to be guides or Sherpas on the Mountain. You Scotch are a tough bunch!!
There are also no toilets. This is not helpful if you have Intestinal Diverticulosis like me. A very pretty mountain but it would be helpful if a smaller one were signposted for the less able.
Visited May 2015

[Charles-P]

Globalti – I think it was a TripAdvisor review that listed the Edinburgh Military Tattoo as,

“A weird homoerotic event with many cross dressing men dancing”

[goldaviator]

On a BA flight to Europe, an American passenger got irate when given a sandwich by the crew. Passenger asked for a vegetarian sandwich and then complained she couldn’t eat it as it had bacon in it. The crew pointed out to her there was no bacon in it at all. Passenger pointed at the side of the sandwich box stating it clearly said bacon on the side. Crew managed to keep a straight face while explaining it said BA.COM…..not bacon!

[AviationGeek]

Charles-P –

LOL!!! There are some real howlers, but your Edinburgh Tattoo comment had me in stitches.
This thread put a big smile on my face after a long day at work, thank you all!
Next time I fly to Spain I too hope to see some more local custom on board, maybe the crew could pin some bull horns to the bar trolley and chase a red napkin down the aisle… 😉

[BEYbrit]

A flight from CDG to BHX, sitting next to an American lady and her daughter, both heading to Wales.

The American lady recounted the history of Wales to her daughter which, I kid ye not, included a ring, twin towers, grand battles and yes, most of the cast of Lord of the Rings.

She then said that, as women, they should feel proud of Wales as it was the first country on earth, after Iceland, to give women ‘the vote’.

God bless em. I can imagine their faces when they arrived at the Travelodge in Merthyr Tydfil. It’s a long way from Hobbiton, my precious…..

[Gin&Tonic]

1974 my first foreign holiday to Spain, waiting at the airport for our return flight to Manchester in the departure lounge, we are the last passengers of the night, so only 1 flight left to arrive and depart.

Eventually we see the lights of the incoming plane taxi to the stand, a lady of senior years stands and collects her bags and belongings as though it was a bus arriving and stands near the window.

Arthur she calls sit down love, that’s not our plane, it’s a Dan Air but it says it’s going to London not Manchester.
If this made you smile you are on my side of 50+, is not please use the link.

https://www.google.com/search?q=dan+air+london&biw=1600&bih=805&tbm=isch&imgil=YeKSwYp0VyovfM%253A%253BKu_N9j-SezeivM%253Bhttps%25253A%25252F%25252Fen.wikipedia.org%25252Fwiki%25252FDan-Air_Flight_1903&source=iu&pf=m&fir=YeKSwYp0VyovfM%253A%252CKu_N9j-SezeivM%252C_&usg=__OV0zD-Lpvn7tMkKvvLo3CZU9GZk%3D&ved=0CDEQyjdqFQoTCLb1kervoscCFUYUkgodPfIMGQ&ei=4-HKVfb3CcaoyAS95LPIAQ#imgrc=YeKSwYp0VyovfM%3A&usg=__OV0zD-Lpvn7tMkKvvLo3CZU9GZk%3D

[SimonS1]

Very good G&T. Brought a chuckle there.

[Charles-P]

Gin&Tonic – always nice to see the easyjet of the 1970’s that was Dan Air.

My wife tells a story about flying with them as a child to Spain for her first foreign holiday and her very Yorkshire father loudly interrogating the desk girls as to when the aircraft had last been serviced to the amusement of all present. He had been a fitter on Wellington bombers during the War and was ready to get down on the Tarmac and have a close look if needed !

[Poshgirl58]

Thanks to everyone for making me laugh. These ridiculous statements are not just restricted to holidaymakers, given my experiences of colleagues over the past two weeks. Nowhere in my job description does it say I have to also teach them to read/write!

Back to the topic. I’ve heard a number of these including a passenger asking for the engines to be turned down as they were too noisy. Yes Gin&Tonic, I am your side of 50 so got this one immediately but opened the link anyway for a trip down memory lane!

[MrMichael]

Brought memories for me too. My first ever flight was a BCal BAC1-11, Gatwick to Gerona. Flew the 1-11 a number of times afterwards and have a strange almost fetishlike fondness for the noisy, smoke belching and rather cramped old dear.

[Carajillo2Sugar]

As an ex-Dan-Air employee, I have to say that the reason the charter flights were sh1tty is because they were used by cheapskate tour operators (yes, T.Cook, I mean you, amongst others!). The catering was generally abysmal but, again, that was down to the holiday companies wanting the lowest possible rate for the seats.

Some of the Dan-Air scheduled services, on the other hand, were rather good – does anyone remember the Business Class cabins on the flights to Amsterdam and Paris?

[Author]

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