Sex toys cause closure of German airport terminal

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This topic contains 10 replies, has 11 voices, and was last updated by  Tom Otley 29 Aug 2018
at 10:55

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  • Swissdiver
    Uho… How embarrassing… And costly, I presume for the airport and the airline…


    I love these stories, really make me laugh though not pleasant of course for those passengers affected by the delay.
    I hope they washed their hands after the search? 😉


    I find it very hard to believe that anyone in Berlin would not immediately recognize the items in question….


    Perhaps they were on silent, so all they did was vibrate?


    on the light side, could think of one or two ex’s who may have been travelling that day 🙂

    on the serious side …. come on, sex toys… bomb… there has to be something seriously wrong with Berlin security….


    @martynsinclair — one or two ex’s! Why how many do you have??
    Also I note that the owner of the suitcase they said was a ‘He'”—- how strange — some presents maybe………..???


    You seem pretty self-confident to think your ex would keep the presents you bought her (or maybe him).


    Many years ago when I was a Security profiler for AA at LGW, the passengers had to line up and go through our questioning before being able to proceed to check-in. On one particular occasion a couple appeared and whilst I was profiling them the luggage started making a peculiar noise and I requested them to open the case which was in front of hordes of those waiting…….the case was filled to busting with sex toys of every shape, size and colour!!!! The passed the profiling ok but were the laughing stock of staff and passengers. Hmmmm would we get away with that now?


    Elsewhere, on another topic I mentioned a young friend who lost his chance of a romantic liaison in a Liege hotel sauna…….
    If you read that, his first time Tartan army trip adventure finished rather bizarrely at LHR.

    When we checked in at the BA desk at Brussels, we did so as group , amongst this large flock, was another pal whose good friends , including me reckon he’ll come out his married closet sooner rather than later.

    I digress, me and my young sauna friend are sitting in our BA seats and waiting to pushback for EDI. Then an announcement …….” Would passenger “xxxx xxxxxx “ urgently make themselves known to the cabin crew. His hand tentatively shot up , as if asking for permission to go to the toilet, at the same time he slid down his seat as he tried to beam himself anywhere else ala Star Trek.

    Please follow me sir, as he was escorted off the plane and taken to the baggage hold area below us , and in full view of those on board. ……The conversation they didn’t hear…….

    Is this your bag ?
    It’s your tag, do you recognize it ?
    Do you mind opening it please ?
    It’s making a strange noise , a loud buzzing noise —-

    Looking up at the aircraft, his face now beetroot red he reluctantly agreed
    EHMMM, OK….

    After a few seconds of raking about, and with a massive sigh of relieve ,he pulled out and happily waved the offending item for all to see ….


    What a C..k Up!

    A colleague a Director of an Australian GP Practice, said he had a large “Sex Toy”, which was in his case, examined very slowly, and carefully in Edinburgh last year.
    They intended to confiscate it, as it was “Rather real looking, heavy, though clearly not a real anatomical size., and we consider it Dubiously offensive” It was probably one of the larger real types in its class. Moulded from a real man!
    However, he managed to flood them with a lot of medical details, and indicated it was for his practice and professional reasons, along with his Business card!
    He also said it was a real mould from a man, and asked what size were British men generally then? Further, what did dubious mean, they did or did not personally find it so?
    They said seriously “Well it is one of those situations where it could go either way”, to which my friend offered it to them as a gift if they really thought that, for personal use! There were about 20 people hanging round listening then.

    They declined, went very red, and handed it back, and he was on his way.

    Sexuality is very fluid these days, and considered very trendy and normal to try or have a little of the same sex partners, especially in men.
    Research has shown it to be far more acceptable, and normalised. in NL’s and Australia it has been pretty normalised for many years, and people don’t even bother about a tag to describe it!
    It appears to be on every UK University timetable!

    Tom Otley

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