Let’s Beat Ryanair

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  • Anonymous


    Reading this month’s BT and Ryanair’s intention to charge £ 40 for a lost boarding pass got me thinking how Ryanair passengers can force O’ Leary into retreat..

    This £40 charge gives budding entrepreneurs a great opportunity. Look for passengers with lost boarding passes and offer to reprint them for a fee of £10. With portable computers and printers this is easily done.

    Why stop there. The £ 1 to spend a penny that was supposed to be a joke is now becoming reality, and it could cost more than a £1. I agree you can use the bathrooms before you fly and when you arrive, but if the plane is subject to delays are you elderly, or suffer a weak prostrate, O’Leary is making you suffer more. What then?

    Solution: What are “sick bags” for. For liquids! Need I say more, and to preserve one’s modesty, use a newspaper over the lap. I can just imagine the flight attendants faces when asked to dispose of them!!!

    And babies – change them on the drop down table in front of the seat!

    What else, I’m sure we can think of other wheezes to help those poor souls who have to fly Ryanair? All suggestions welcome.


    The “Loo Charge” has always amused me. What is to stop the first person popping a pound in and then simply holding the door open for the next one to use and so on and so on. I refuse to fly with the jumped up little so and so, which given that Stansted is my local is crazy, but I refuse to be treated like an animal. Flying is my down time in an otherwise busy schedule so to board one of his flights is my idea of purgatory! Like the sick bag idea tho….


    I think it would be a good idea to sit towards the front of the plane and accept everything that is offered over priced food and drink yes please. When it is time to pay simply pay in coins as small as possible. ( more than 30p in coppers is not considered legal tender ) and hold up that member of staff for the whole flight meaning that they only get profit from one fleeced customer not a plane full.


    I like it, and why not ask for a VAT receipt as well. In Italy and other countries it’s law for the seller to provide one and if they don’t you don’t have to part with your cash.


    They want to charge you to fill you with fluid, they want to charge you to empty it.
    Buy yr water (Or take an empty bottle on board) give it them back from the other ended tap, & leave it under the seat for when you get off.
    Having an overcoat on yr lap will never have been so useful for the odd Private indiscretion!

    This seems a stupid suicide mission on behalf of Ryanair?
    O’leary spounds as though he needs to be setcioned under the Mental Health Act for 28 days!


    when using supermarket trollies people often give a retuning trolley person a pound rather than have to slot in your own pound

    no body loses
    when you come out of the toilet the person going in should give the person coming out the pound

    if nobody is waitng then you lose your pound


    E mails from ryanair are like nazi commands! Pee in a bottle take it on board and leave it under your seat possibly with the top off. The next flight wont want to get on a plane that smells of urine.Oh dont forget to kick the bottle over before you disembark


    Some good ideas coming through but the idea is not to inconvenience other travelers or to cause them further discomfort. However this is beginning to show the disdain many people have for Ryanair and the feeling passengers are treated like cattle who should be milked for as much as possible once they have agreed to pay a low fare – a low fare offered by Ryanair.

    If they need to milk people this way one has to wonder if their business model is the right one. Easyjet also offer low fares but do not seem to try and fleece their passengers with extra charges for using the bathrooms etc and they are making money while flying full planes.

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Business Traveller April 2020 edition
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