Friday Fun – Could we cut it on The Apprentice

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  • canucklad

    A chance to have some fun, and see if we can stay in the boardroom?

    On next week’s episode of The Apprentice , Lord Sugar has challenged the intelligently bankrupt members of the house with ……

    Devising a marketing campaign for a brand new budget airline. They need to come up with a distinctive brand, make a 30-second TV advert and design a uniform that flies the flag for their new airline.

    Can we do any better …….I’m thinking not, considering how we frequently get ourselves all in a flap over seemingly trivial things

    So consider your ………

    Airline name
    Colour scheme
    Target market
    launch aircraft
    Any USP’s

    1 rule : No BAashing


    Good game, canucklad. My entry:

    Airline name – Trans Ocean Airlines
    Colour scheme – white, red, yellow
    Target market – business people / large corporations
    Routes – Lon-JFK, Lon-HKG, Lon-TYO, Lon-JNB
    Launch aircraft – A350-900
    Any USP’s – [1] the best champagne, flowing like water. [2] superb departure lounges modelled on the CX lounges at HKG. [3] Spacious arrivals lounges in every airport served. [4] All J service.

    OK fun over, I know I have no chance on ‘The Apprentice’, I’m far too slow……..


    I am not going to enter as I would not wish to be seen to compete with the pretentious delusionary greasy haired simpering sycophants who go on that show, but instead, I submit for your consideration a ‘business plan’ that was handed out at a World Travel Market that I attended many years ago. I have kept and treasured this for many years.

    I might add that the aspirant founders did a sweep of many of the stands at WTM, removing and sweeping into carrier bags anything that was not nailed down or part of the display, including chocolates, pens, notepads, diaries, calendars …….




    Nice one Canucklad. My airline

    Airline name – Pirate Airways
    Colour scheme – Black and White
    Target market – Budget Travellers
    Routes – MXP – JNB / NYC / HKG
    Launch aircraft – B747-800 or A380 secondhand bought at a knock down price (or rather steal one, repaint it with the jolly roger and off we go).. 😉
    Any USP’s – Flat fare EUR 250 per leg, 1 free case, 1 free hand baggage. Free water from a dispenser, no plastic bottles, otherwise Buy on Board

    I’ll probably go bankrupt or strung up on an aircraft’s equivalent of the yard arm, but at least I’d enjoy myself trying!

    PS. Or perhaps be made to walk the plank at 35,000′, now that would be fun!!!


    Ah this takes me back to when I was a teenager! At the time, I was living in Newcastle and it was somewhat underserved in terms of international routes.

    Airline name – Magpie Airways
    Colour scheme – Black and White with touches of Blue
    Target market – Geordies
    Routes – NCL to CDG, BRU, FRA, COP, HAM
    Launch aircraft – BAe 146 (yes that’s how far back we are going!)
    Any USP’s – “Toon! Toon! Black and White Army!”


    Coming to today, this would be my submission.

    Airline name – TAU (Trans Atlantic Organisation/Union, boring name but marketing is ultimately around the greek letter)
    Colour scheme – Blue would be the dominant colour, something consistent with the Atlantic.
    Target market – Cost conscious premium passengers, economy travellers wanting a bit more.
    Routes – UK/EU-US/CAN so LON-NYC to begin with. Secondary airports preferred but target those where linkups with lo-cost either side of pond is feasible.
    Launch aircraft – A330neo
    Any USP’s – 3 class seating with Std Seat (34″) /Big Seat (46″) /Flat Bed (whatever). Same service in all cabins with standard = “best economy service over Atlantic”. 3 ticket price bands Bronze (non-refundable/non-changeable)/Silver (part-refundable/changeable) /Gold (fully flex). Crucially, all Gold tickets receive premium service in terms of check-in/lounges/FFPs regardless of seat bought.

    In effect this is the successor to Norwegian airlines (since their finances look shaky). However, the scale would be smaller and would focus on yields to numbers.


    My airline would be a budget airlines for those billionaires who have fallen from grace to become mere multi millionaires and suffered the ignominy of having had their private jets picked up by the bailiffs.

    Airline name – Grace Airlines (as in fallen from grace)

    Colour scheme – bare shiny metal in order to reduce weight and therefore running costs

    Target Market – billionaires who have fallen from grace and aspiring billionaires climbing the ladder of wealth

    Routes – New York, Nice, and of course Bangkok / Hong Kong

    Launch aircraft – G650

    USP – a unique opportunity for former billionaires to retain their image in using PJ’s but without the world seeing or noticing the aircraft may be shared by others.. in a similar situation. Perhaps the cabin could have partitions, to ensure some degree of privacy..


    My politically correct airline would never go broke !

    Airline name: Chump Air
    Colour scheme: Yellow with Red tail
    Target market: Presidents Politicians and Freeloaders
    Routes: IAD – PEK IAD – FNJ
    Launch aircraft: Comac C919 with advanced hot air assisted propulsion system
    USPs: Large seats Large Hamburgers Coke on tap Built in ‘tweet’ machines Cash available for freeloaders Large scale world maps with coloured pencils provided to
    change boundaries and borders Model soldiers aircraft and ships Condom Water Bombs in first class


    Already been done !

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