[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

In which our correspondent reminds us of a mutual friend, famous yet often forgotten, who really ought to be celebrated…

Since we have time, while we sit here on this aircraft – fuelled, ready to go, but stationary – let’s have a chat about someone we both know. In these days of ephemeral celebrity, it’s reassuring that some individuals are with us year after year – are so well known, in fact, that I’m confident everyone on this plane will have heard of the person I’m about to name. Have a guess who it is. No?

Okay, so sometimes we may get too distracted by our travels and our business to give them a second thought. But then, suddenly, there they are again, demanding our attention. Wait for it, here is the announcement of their imminent arrival, I don’t want to talk over the captain… Yes, there it is. Remember now? Once again, we are ready to depart, all the bags are on board, we have clearance from air traffic control but – we are just waiting for one more passenger. The late arriving one, the one we have on every flight, unless they bring their family along, or their equally tardy friends.

I wouldn’t mind so much if, when they did finally arrive, they’d notice me as they walked past. Each time, I search their eyes for that flicker of recognition as they hurry past – or worse, dawdle – but they avoid my glance. They are indifferent to my attention. Perhaps they are shy, having all eyes on them – but I thought latecomers enjoyed making an entrance.

I imagine since the dawn of travel people have been late for departures, but in the past you weren’t aware of it because they simply missed the stagecoach/ship/train. Now, with the rigours of security, we can’t fly with their bags homeand they take time to offload, so we have to wait.

But why are they late at all? That’s what baffles me. Travel isn’t difficult. We don’t need to know how to ride a horse or sail. We aren’t explorers. Map reading, for the most part, isn’t necessary, and flying we leave to the professionals. All we have to do is turn up at the allotted time at the designated place, with a few documents and without much in the way of liquids or explosives, and wait for the flight to be called.

I know sometimes it can be a struggle to get to the airport, but that’s not the problem here – Mr or Mrs Final Call has already arrived and checked in their bag, so all they have to do is get to the gate on time. And what’s so difficult about that?

I have waited for this one passenger for most of my travelling life, and unlike Waiting for Godot, at least half the time they have turned up in the end, if only because it’s easier for the airline to hang on in the hope they will eventually arrive than it is to start going through the bags trying to find the right one to remove. (While we’re on the subject, can you imagine how much the baggage handlers hate this person?)

The thing is, it’s getting worse. It seems to be that the lower the cost of the flight, the less people care about missing it. Or it could be that those people who take low-cost flights are less used to travelling, so are more likely to be caught out.

Here’s my solution – name and shame them. The pilot could read their name out, invite them to stand up and wave from their seat, and once we’re finally in the air, they could come round and apologise to each of us personally. Those who turn up after the gate has closed, meanwhile, could stand next to the aircraft marshal as they direct the plane out with the ping-pong bats and wave us goodbye. That would be a good start to every trip.

Wait a minute, here they are now, coming down the aisle towards me. Will they recognise me? No, I thought not. Next time, maybe.

[lloydah]

Wonderful. As well as name and shame perhaps some sort of head gear rather like a “Dunce’s Cap” could be incorporated. Size depending upon cabin travelling in.

[MartynSinclair]

close down the shops and take the distraction of getting to the aircraft on time away. Why do you think there are so few announcemnts in the terminal. The shop keepers dont like it, it drives custom away…………close the shops, close the food outlets, make an airport an airport not a shopping mall. Why do you think weddings are on a sunday, because women aren’t able to stop at the shops on the way!!!!!!!!!

[CharlieBrown]

Frankly there should be a late arrival/delay fee – distributed between airline and passenger to appease the inconvenience of waiting for the casually arrogant arrival.

[MartynSinclair]

in fact what a great idea Thomas Brown, one for all the airlines to adopt. Check in up to 1 hour before flight FREE. Check in between 30 minutes and 1 hour before departure £50 per pasenger with a further £50 penalty for late arrival at the gate area. Bet that will increase revenue.

[TominScotland]

Some great ideas here. What really galls me about latecomers is that, inevitably, they arrive on board with massive grins on their faces, clearly enjoying the spotlight.

[binabdulaziz]

What about those delayed by late connection flights of airline?

Who has the shame for that?

That is most common reason I see for waiting, otherwise airline goes without.

[Binman62]

Brilliant piece….
T5 registers you as enter security. If you do not do so before -40 to departure time your will automatically be stopped and prevented from going further. Your bags will also be removed at this time. The system is far from fool proof as there is always some fool who can get through and then get lost in the shops or drunk and fall asleep in the departure lounge. For BA however, it has transformed their operations and their punctuality has improved beyond recognition from where it was 2 years ago.
The trick is how to get a bag off quickly, as aircraft cannot depart without a passenger while still carrying the bag. There are several layers of x-ray and security of baggage but it appears that the authorities still have little confidence in these if they will not allow the bags to depart without its owner. The exception to this is bags which have missed their flight which are allowed to be transported after a further screening. Not sure why airport authorities have not invested in equipment that could allow this all the time. Perhaps because they rather like the money delays generate from shops to the stand occupancy charges and other fees.
None of which beats the idea of a dunces cap

[bombayteddy]

I fully second abdulaziz. And I do this from personal experience.

On my first visit to Bali via Singapore some years ago, the SQ flight into Bombay was delayed out of Manchester, so I barely had time to make the connection at Changi, which I was totally unfamiliar with. Since I was an F-class passenger, SQ kindly arranged for someone to meet me at the gate itself; and I was driven at breakneck speed on a buggy to my next gate, which was some distance away. I thought I was the last passenger to board; but was told they were still waiting for a couple who had apparently got “lost” in the airport after checking-in! So my bags made it with me….for which I thank that tardy couple to this day!

Moral of the story (actually, there are two): some delays can be a blessing in disguise; and dont judge a book by its cover!

[VintageKrug]

I fail to see why a planeload of 300+ people (who may themselves also have connections to make) should wait for latecomers, however that lateness may have been caused.

Crazy.

[PaulJennings]

Very funny and very true.

Last month at Gatwick, very early in the morning, I saw two gentlemen running, quickly, for a fight while drinking pints of lager presumably picked up at pit-stop speed on the way to the gate.

On the issue of tight connections, the airlines themselves are often guilty of promoting overly ambitious connections – when flights are displayed in order of total journey time airlines will want to reduce connection times for the list. Then you end up with 45 minutes to connect in FRA.

[Tom Otley]

I like the idea of them running quickly for a fight. Most of us do the opposite.

[Kaicat75]

I have two friends who are always the last to check-in, always the last on the plane etc etc. They fail to see how annoying it is for everyone else. So I was pleased to pass on the link to this thread and see if it sinks in at all.

Ref tight connections had a connection once in ORD for a flight to LVS and even without a delay you had only 40 mins. With increased US security it was physically impossible to manage and ended up with an extra 4 hours in O’Hare till there was a seat on another flight.

[PaulJennings]

Oops, these larger louts were indeed running for their flight.

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