[Anonymous]

[Charles-P]

Once again I have experienced the ‘pretend’ security of the Eurotunnel service. The procedure is always identical and always a waste of time.

Pass through UK checkpoint – No police on duty, building locked up, no checks carried out

If you are in a slot between 40 minutes and 20 minutes before boarding you will be pulled off for a ‘security check’ –
Note to Terrorist, arrive early or late they will wave you through with no checks.

You will be asked if the car is yours –
Note to terrorist the reply makes no difference, I have answered, “Yes”, “No”, “Company Car” and “It’s my sisters” They always just say “OK then”

You will be asked if you packed the car –
Note to terrorist – lie, they don’t open the boot or even the doors. Hide the Semtex and AK 47’s under a rug on the backseat and you will be fine.

The steering wheel and door handles will be swabed by the 17 year old while she discusses Eastenders with her friend. –
Note to terrorist – wipe the door handles and steering wheel with a rag soaked in bleach and Bobs your uncle.

Proceed to French security check – French policeman is reading newspaper – waves me through.

Drive onto packed Eurostar train in large saloon car with boot big enough to contain guns, explosives, petrol, knives you name it
.

[Author]

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