Always worth double-checking that airport location

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Viewing 15 posts - 16 through 30 (of 33 total)

  • conshaldow
    Participant

    Fantastic stories from all… I’ve met a few Americans who were touring Europe and their final stop before heading home was PIK.

    Similarly to the Antwerp story, their final flight back to EWR was indeed from GLA. Their faces when the realised they were an hour away from the airport and had missed their flight was priceless.

    Not sure if it is American “idiocracy” or just sheer nativity. Either way, it can result in quite hysterical situations.


    LuganoPirate
    Participant

    Priceless Charles. How you must have loved that.

    Canucklad, your story reminded me when I was a young lad in the 70’s looking for how to get to my girlfriends house in Frankfurt I think. I’d come by train and located her address on the map, but could not find the street I was on so I could get my bearings and walk there.

    In my best O level German I asked a policeman, “excuse me, but where can I find the Einbahnstrasse on this Map”. Yes, it can happen to the best of us and instead of answering, he spoke on his radio, in a minute came a police car who invited me in, I thought I was being arrested, and in perfect English explained what Einbahnstrasse meant. I felt so foolish, and with that he asked where I was going to and with blues and two’s (or German equivalent) going rushed me there. It was great and my girlfriend was rather impressed!


    LetsFlyNow
    Participant

    Thanks Charles P for this uplifting topic and all for cracking me up.

    @Senator, LP – Seeing i ain’t the only one……i should confess this.

    When i moved to Germany a few years ago i had to get to a party at a location that i had seen only the evening earlier but being a late February evening it was dark and i had hurriedly noted the street adress on a piece of paper that i’ve never found till today. So i got into a taxi and was asked where i was going.
    I just stared at the driver with my mouth wide open. Happily, just like a light lit up my brain i proudly said ..”Einbahnstraße!” And i even went on to describe how the sign had been in blue with some white letters (after seeing the guy was looking at me with a funny amused look!

    Well, the only thing that saved was that i could remember what companies or sort of buildings i had seen there, before calling to ask where i should go to. And that Taxi driver was honestly one of the kindest & most fun i’ve ever met. I still got to my destination after he had had a nice well deserved laugh.


    TominScotland
    Participant

    Senator, I am afraid that Ausfahrt is not just a destination beloved of Americans. I have been married to a lady who still cringes when thinking about our first trip to Germany and her amazement at the number of autobahn signs to this major city!!


    MrMichael
    Participant

    Heard on ferry from Oslo Central to Bygdoy,, an American couple with a handful of Krone, the wife says to the equally dumb husband, ” hey Kit, how many fjords to the dollar? “


    canucklad
    Participant

    2 more to chuckle at…….

    I’m in the Macau Venetian Casino enjoying the surreal surrounds and experience of a Chinaman singing the just one corentto song, when from behind I hear a loud yank with a tone of disdain ” They’ve no original ideas of their own,they’re just copying what we did first.

    And in Princes street whilst waiting for my no. 28 bus , 2 Americans ask me for help, I advise that they too should get on the 28 as it passes the Dalmahoy hotel. As we wait ,a 25 bus pulls up, followed by a 26, then purely by coincidence a 27 ……… Jeez ,that clever ,the wife says to the husband, ours must be next !……..Before I had a chance to correct them and reset their expectations along trundles a ……

    I never did tell them,there is now a little pocket of people in the US who must be very impressed with the efficiency of Lothian buses. : )


    TominScotland
    Participant

    Just to balance the impression, which is gaining traction here, that it is only the Americans who are geographically challenged, a few years ago I was working down south (that is England to you!!). My colleague was looking for flight options to a major city in southern Italy and asked the archetypal dumb blonde in the office to help. The ultra-efficient lass soon came back with a range of travel routings to Kathmandu…….. Must have been his accent (home counties….)


    canucklad
    Participant

    Agreed Tom. ….Just listen to Brits in Spain complain about portion size whilst tucking into Tapas. Or my mate in Parisian pub helpfully telling the barman that somebody has stolen their toilet. Or an ex not being impressed with the lemon soup starter in a Chinese restaurant.

    Or indeed having to explain to my colleagues down south that I don’t support either Rangers or Celtic but a tynie little club from the capital. Oh and that I’m not addicted to that little lopsided creature that looks like a furby called a Haggis nor for that matter deep fried mars bars washed down with my obligatory bottle of malt a day habit.

    And not forgetting the lady at Belfast airport who believed the little perspex box before security was actually part of the decommissioning scheme. Or the Dutchman who was left aghast when EDI security told him he wouldn’t be allowed to carry on board his 5ft claymore “souvenir” …… absolutely priceless


    AnthonyDunn
    Participant

    @ canucklad – 14/06/2014 10:06 GMT

    And there I was putting you down as being a hardened “Buckie” drinker….! 🙂


    canucklad
    Participant

    Well I’ve had a few pints in the lovely fish town called Buckie if that counts.

    And if your a golfer 2 great golf courses I would recommend.


    LetsFlyNow
    Participant

    Cheers canucklad!


    Globalti
    Participant

    One day back in about 1983 I was sitting in my office in London and the ‘phone rang. A young man with a Texan accent introduced himself a Gene something or other the third. Gene had just arrived in London and was in a spot of bother. He had met my friend who was teaching English in Tokyo and she had given Gene my ‘phone number, just in case.

    “Welcome to London, Gene” I said. “So have you had a problem?”

    “Well as it happens Sir, I have.” replied Gene, and he then told me the whole story. He had arrived at Heathrow and got a taxi to his hotel, then decided to go out for a stroll around the famous West End. Quite soon he met a very dapper English gent in suit and bowler who had asked Gene if he would like a ticket to a show. Of course Gene was interested so they went into a hotel lobby where the English gent took $60 off Gene and promised to nip to his room to fetch the ticket. Gene waited an hour before realising he had been conned. “Sorry,” said I, “I’m afraid that could happen in any city – you just need to be a bit more careful!”

    I asked Gene what he had done next so he told me that to console himself he’d gone into an English pub where he had met two really stunning girls. He had spent the whole evening buying them drinks, cigarettes, a meal, and was just about to invite them back to his hotel when he discovered that the girls were actually trannies. “Oh dear,” said I, “they really had you didn’t they!” “Yup” replied Gene, “I guess they played me like a harp!”

    Unfortunately I was engaged that evening but I offered to meet up with Gene and take him out the next night but he told me that wouldn’t be possible because the next day he was going to see Paris, France. When I met up with my Tokyo friend months later and told her the story she laughed: “Yes – that was Gene alright!”


    StephenLondon
    Participant

    These tales are great – the making of a good book, or if not, one howler of an article!

    A good ten years ago, I was flying Luftie First from IAH to FRA. A well-dressed elderly American couple started up a conversation with the purser, who had asked them where in Germany they were heading.

    Man: Well last year we went to Hamburg and Munich. This year we’re going to Berlin and Munchen.
    Purser: Aaaah, so you really enjoy Munchen, how nice. That is the birth city of my mother.
    Man: Well, we’re looking forward to seeing it for the first time.
    Purser: But sir, you know Munchen is German for Munich.
    Man (to wife): I thought it looked a bit familiar in the book, honey. Oh darn it all, we’ve done it again!
    Purser: Sir, don’t worry. We are delighted to be welcoming back to Germany. Now, for today’s service, we are able to offer you caviar with all the trimmings. Would you care for it?
    Man: Cavier (sic), what’s that?
    Purser: You know, fish eggs
    Man: Oh, okay…I’ll have two!

    We didn’t see the purser for a good ten minutes afterwards, no doubt he was unable to keep a straight face. There sure were a lot of crew who passed through the F cabin looking at these two passengers shortly afterwards, as well!!


    K1ngston
    Participant

    I don’t want to bash our American brethren, you all have done them proud here, so I will leave it to my sister who when in Holland many years ago for my marriage turned around and asked how big the town of “Centrum” was as all signs in every town we had been to had signs pointing there!

    Priceless and so innocently asked … Made a great line in my speech that weekend!


    Gridley
    Participant

    While in the Vatican Museum I see an American lady tugging at husband’s sleeve and saying “if you stop to look at things, we will never get through”!

    Taking some visitors on a tour of Rome – they know nothing of Roman history or geography – we pass the Arco di Costantino and the wife says “I know THAT, it is the Arch of Triumph”! Time to go home, I decided.

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