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#501052

Bunnahabhain
Participant

James you threw away any higher card than that of the CSD which you may have held straight away;

“I wasn’t happy with myself when I raised my voice, but quickly apologised and made sure my kids were aware that I was not happy with my own behaviour.”

Not only did you first raise your voice thereby setting the wrong tone for the rest of the conversation and prompting a defensive, equally confrontational stance from the CSD as others have pointed out, you then apologised. Ok that did show her, your children and other passengers that you recognised your initial bahaviour was inappropriate, and to continue in a raised voice would have been worse still, but that admission of your inappropriate tone just hands the trump cards right to the person with the support and protection of the various authorities – at least at the time if not permanently. I used to have a colleague whose behaviour had a habit of being like yours was at first, and an apology would usually follow. It never sought to address the underlying problem that there was an interpersonal skills issue in the first place.

Whatever the background to the situation, which as others have said was probably a no win all round, TominScotland (at 0846) sums it up.

I’m no expert in complaining or negotiation skills, but I absolutely detest raised voices, even if not directed at me, whether from men or women. Remember how the French rugby union team used to give away so many points by the 10 yards up the pitch dissent rule…