I recall like yesterday, a train journey between Nice and Genoa during the 1990 World Cup…..
A group of typically blonde Finnish lassies on a final year school trip sitting beside us, giggling and flirting with me and my kilted pals……bottle of vino being enjoyed, usual innuendos and questions about Scotsmen and kilts…..
This spurred on the a pervy, de-shrevelled Italian trampino sitting a few rows away to wander up to the girls table…..drop his pants and do a rather life like impersonation of the wee boy statue in Brussels….
Some of the lassies burst out laughing, the less experienced (shall we say) looked on in horror as the shrivelled worm flopped about in front of them…..
Stunned at this surprising and unwelcome intervention in to our attempt at building Scottish Scandinavian friendships, we took another slug of beer/ wine and then kicked him into the next carriage….undeterred by this forcible removal……our bold Torino Trampino arrived back for attempt number 2 ……a few harsh Scottish words and again he’s kicked into touch, this time snatching one of bottle of our beers!!
We had notified the conductor in the meantime who just shrugged his” hawhehaw” shoulders and walked away…..
Presumably buoyed by his beer, back for attempt now 3……would he master…..his wee willie winkie into shape…….
Eh…no…girls now totally freaked out…….train door opened and bye bye Trampino