My experience with the BA staff in both the departure and arrivals lounges has only ever been excellent.
On a handful of occasions when travelling in J I’ve asked to bring more than 1 guest into the First Lounge which the BA staff have allowed (My gold card allows me plus one guest in). Each time, I’ve asked politely as opposed to demanded and the staff have been accommodating and friendly.
In the arrivals lounge, I once wasn’t given a Concorde Room voucher when entering which the waiting staff required once we sat down – the politely went back to the front desk for us and got the required bit of paper without any fuss.
One of the things I am slightly confused about is why you need to show both your exec club card and your boarding card when your exec club status is clearly printed on the boarding pass? I have heard passengers complaining a number of times about this