Features

Frequent Traveller: Get Out of My Face

31 May 2011 by BusinessTraveller

In which our correspondent tries to decide if his smartphone is friend or foe

I think I am being watched. Every day I get asked by one of the apps on my phone if I will allow the locater to track me down… I always say “No”, but why am I being asked in the first place? Don’t get me wrong – I am not social media-resistant. I use Facebook all the time – the number of “likes” is all I have now as a social life as I don’t have time for a real one. But a long time ago I decided that this is as far as I am ready to go. I don’t tweet, at least not socially. Twitter just seems way too volatile – if I spontaneously shared all my thoughts in 140 characters, I would soon have no friends left, not even cyber ones. And in today’s world, it might even get me barred from certain countries. Pinterest? It would just expose my lack of aesthetic sense. Foursquare? I might as well wear an ankle tracker. I would have upped my social media ante in a mildly desperate attempt to expand my social circle had I not read an article about what stalkers can do with your online status. The reporter managed to find out the name, age and occupation of a stranger, her pet’s name, as well as when and where she would be and what she would be eating on a particular day. I am a guy and being stalked seems to be less of a safety concern – until I remember Fatal Attraction. Exposing myself on more social media outlets just doesn’t seem like a good idea. So Facebook is as far as I go. At least it’s between friends… I think. I have not learned how to use Weibo, so in China I have to accept that I have no friends. But I do change my status to indicate where I am, hoping that someone will say, “I’m in town too, let’s meet up!”… and yes, it has happened, once – I am not a social leper yet. Unfortunately, I always seem to run into someone I (sort of) know in the wrong place at the wrong time, usually at breakfast when I’m holding a giant plate of noodles (I have an Asian stomach). It’s usually the wrong friend as well, one of those people you only vaguely remember, and now you have to find something to say other than “I thought you were dead”. Then you don’t know whether you should sit with them or risk being rude by walking away – in-room breakfast has become an increasingly attractive option. Even our famed Asian hospitality has begun to be a nuisance. There is no doubt that hotels here in Asia generally trump Europe and the US when it comes to service. But this whole thing about “personalisation” and “making you feel at home” is getting out of hand. The staff want to help you with the one little trolley you have, they want to take you up to your room and show you how the light switches work, and they want to put an orchid by your bed when all you want to do is sit down and work. I always get startled, too, when my name is called as I walk through the rotating door. My only solace is this loyalty card that doubles as a room key. Now I can check in online, get my room number via text, and sneak into my room undetected. Don’t even make eye contact with me, please – I’m not in the mood. Perhaps I am just not a very social person. Maybe I should learn to loosen up. All I am saying is, I just want to sit down with real friends and actually have fun. Maybe instead of whining and moaning here, I should pick up the phone and call them.
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