Fifty Shades of Grey – cabin crew memo

Bugadvisor.com posted the following memo – rumoured to have been circulated to a major airline’s cabin crew in preparation for the popular erotic movie ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ being added to the in-flight entertainment offering. Hope this lightens your day 🙂

CREW BRIEFING

PREPARATION FOR FIFTY SHADES OF GREY SHOWING AS PART OF THE IN-FLIGHT ENTERTAINMENT OFFERING

OVERVIEW

The movie adaptation of the popular erotic novel, Fifty Shades of Grey, will soon be included in our in-flight entertainment offering. Written by E.L. James, the story follows the relationship between a college graduate, Anastasia Steele, and a young, successful business man, Christian Grey, who introduces her to the world of bondage and dominant/submissive sexual role play. Cabin staff should read the following brief to prepare them to handle potentially sensitive customer questions and/or behaviour.

WHY DOES IT AFFECT US?

As with all reputable airlines, safety is our primary concern. In addition, any behaviour, by crew or passengers, that affects the enjoyment of our service, reflects on your company.

COMPANY POLICY

It is always company policy that indecent behaviour, either seated, or in the aircraft toilet, is unacceptable. There should not be special treatment for our Elite frequent flyers or those in the premium cabins on such occasions. However, we are aware that cabin crew often ‘turn a blind eye’ to discreet behaviour on long-haul flights where other passengers are unaffected.

CREW BRIEFING

All staff are encouraged to familiarise themselves with the content of Fifty Shades of Grey by reading the novel or watching the movie. Understanding the storyline and how this could affect on-board activities will better prepare crew for incoming queries and events.

Queries may be unusual and sensitive in nature but crew are reminded of our commitment to assist customers in a polite, helpful and respectful manner. A level of discretion is also advised.

THINGS TO LOOK OUT FOR

Crew are asked to monitor use of the aircraft toilet. If a toilet is in use for an extended period, crew should first knock and ask if the passenger requires assistance. If there is no answer then crew are authorised to override the door lock and gain entry.

If you find a passenger tied up and gagged, do not immediately assume that this is the result of an assault. Remove the gag and attempt to discern what has happened.

If two passengers are present in the toilet and it is obvious that this isn’t because one requires special assistance, you should ask them to return to their seats – untying/releasing them as necessary. Any repeat of their behaviour should be reported to the Captain.

Duct tape, rope and cable ties should not be affixed to any part of the aircraft. Seat belts should only be used for the purpose intended.

CREW ARE ASKED TO KEEP THE CONTENTS OF THIS BRIEFING WITHIN THE COMPANY.

IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS OR CONCERNS RELATING TO THE CONTENTS OF THIS BRIEFING PLEASE SPEAK TO YOUR REGIONAL MANAGER.

Another made up contribution to the most over hyped film in history.

I enjoyed the review by the film critic of De Standard newspaper.

“A bad book made into a bad film, rent a copy of Emanuele instead and at least you get a classic film with the soft porn”

LP – take your turn and stand in line 😉

So here’s a Mr Grey tip for all you buddying flying lothario’s out there…….
Book a flight on a LH A340 flight in “Y”, the middle toilets are discreetly located downstairs….Perfect for an amorous rendezvous…..and goodness knows what else if you hold a Gold Senator card… : )

As a proud male, that book has probably become the bane of most of our lives…….if the fairer sex was demanding before reading/seeing fifty shades, then they have become downright egotistically rebellious with their needs…….

Ladies, treat me not like a sex toy, I have a brain too!!